FUCKYEAHJEREMYCLARKSON

India Special photoset 12: The only problem with the JCB is the driver.  He manages to get past the gazebo unscathed, but James’ Rolls-Royce is in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Still, not to worry - among all the excellent things Britain has to offer, there are many Airfix kits, some of which contain paint that will be a perfect match.

Well, close enough, anyway.

Another mistake, apparently, was putting James in charge of the fireworks.  This plan, which seems eminently sensible on paper given that he’s probably the least likely to cause a massive and deadly explosion, led to a selection of garden fireworks that would impress no one.  Still, not to worry - Jeremy has a plan, and those always go well…