FUCKYEAHJEREMYCLARKSON

India Special photoset 14, is it?: The trade reception gets started with James and Jeremy serving a delightful selection of English wine and canapes to the assembled guests (canapes including gentleman’s relish, Marmite and most bizarrely, Smash instant mashed potatoes on crackers) while Richard, now ‘perfectly’ coiffed, takes charge of the valet parking.

With the guests fed and watered, James and Jeremy turn their hand to providing demonstrations of the British engineering innovations they’ve brought along.  The lawnmower is initially recalcitrant, while Jeremy’s presentation of the Corby Trouser Press provides a more than adequate explanation of why he’s an occasionally controversial TV presenter rather than a member of the diplomatic service.  Mercifully, before he demonstrates his boot-mounted lavatory solution, he puts his trousers back on.

There’s only one way to avoid a diplomatic incident now - STRIKE UP THE BAND!